Sidney’s Story

Eight years ago, I was not sure life was worth living. I got a call from my older brother telling me that our younger brother had shot himself. At that moment, my soul shattered and my life was forever changed. How could someone who had so much to live for think his only option was suicide?

I later learned that his dreams of being a doctor had been crushed when he did not pass one of his entrance exams. How could we not know? Why couldn't I have prevented this from happening?

I went through torture trying to find answers to my questions, and an outlet for my overwhelming pain. I started working long hours and drinking a lot. Then, my partner left me and my life fell apart.

One night, after working late, I was taking the bus home. I was exhausted and just felt like life was a burden. I was staring at the ads in the bus, and one seemed to stare right back at me. It was for The Support Network's distress line. To this day, I don't know what made me write that number on my hand.

I got home and kept peering at the phone. After what seemed hours, I picked it up and called 482-HELP. I was terrified. What if the person who answered thought I was crazy? I was afraid of being judged.

To my surprise, neither of those things happened. The listener encouraged me to talk about what was bothering me, even talk about my brother's suicide. Most people don't want to hear that story. They encouraged me to come and talk to someone at their suicide bereavement program. I was nervous about doing that. But I did.

It was not what I expected. I met others who had lost family members or friends to suicide. We shared similar stories and feelings. We drew strength and courage from each other and got our lives back on track. We became friends.

Today, I have learned to balance my life, I am married and have two kids. We are all doing well. I am able to do this because The Support Network helped me in my darkest hour.

Helping The Support Network to achieve its goals is helping real people stay alive-like me.

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